Outtake of after Edward left Bella at thanksgiving Chapter 4
EPOV
It is such a long drive to Seattle. I nearly turned around to go back to Bella more than once. I was never in love before and the feelings I have are completely new to me. I know that there will never be another woman for me.
Just when I was going to turn around and tell Bella that it was all a lie and that I would wait for her my phone rang.
Lay where you're laying, don't make a sound
I know they're watching, they're watching
All the commotion, the kiddie like play
Has people talking, talking
You, your sex is on fire
Shit, this is all I need I thought when I checked out the caller ID.
“What the fuck do you want Jane?”I knew that I was being a bastard but the only voice I wanted to hear right now was my angel's voice that I left back in forks.
“Hello to you too Eddie,” Jane purred. “Someone got out on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Do you need me to help with your stress?”
“Cut the shit Jane and tell me what you want.”
“Well Eddie, I was just calling to wish you a happy thanksgiving and wondering when I will see you. I miss you and your talented fingers.”
“Jane, how many times do I have to tell you? Fuck off and leave me alone, I. Am. Not. Interested, Get that through you thick head!”
I hung up and thought maybe it is better not to drag Bella into my fucked up life. I have only known her for 2 days but I know for certain that I love her. It was love at first sight. Emmett is right. She does deserve to follow her dreams without me holding her back.
I continued driving trying to put my angel and her sweet voice out of my head. I finally got to Seattle and stopped at a liquor store where I went to buy a bottle of Jack Daniels. The owner gave me a look to say that I'm underage, which I am but I showed him my fake ID which worked. All I wanted to do was get home and forget that I left the only woman who ever captured my heart voluntarily.
I got into the apartment and put on the TV. Then I opened up my bottle of JD and drank and drank.
Knock, Knock.
I got up to answer the door and who was it but the skank from the elevator when we left for forks.
She looked at me and licked her lips. “Hi there, I remember you. I was hoping there was someone here because our radiator is broken and we are looking for someone who has good hands to fix it.”
Without a word I took her by the elbow and pulled her in the door. I attacked her lips.
“I know what you want and it is not someone to fix a radiator,” I said as I put my hand up her top and grabbed her breasts. “So let me give it to you.”
She moaned into my mouth as I ripped her top off and took her right nipple into my mouth. Her hands went down past my waist and undid the buttons on my jeans. She then took my cock into her hand and went on her knees and put it into her mouth.
As soon as her lips touched my cock I thought about my angel and her chocolate brown eyes looking so sad when I spoke to her in the woods. I then knew that I couldn’t do this so I pushed the skank away.
“I'm sorry. I can't do this,” I told her. “There is only one woman I want and you are not her.” I took my JD and took a slug.
I looked at her and shouted, “LEAVE!!!”
She looked stunned and then angry. She gave me a hard slap across the face and yelled, “ASSHOLE!!!” Then left and I was alone again without my angel and without any form of release.
I went over to the phone and rang Paul Johnston. He’s go to man to get anything from alcohol to drugs. I don't take drugs but I need more alcohol.
When he answered the phone I explained that I wanted a bottle of JD and a bottle of vodka and that I would pay him double as long as I got it straight away. He was happy with that and hung up the phone.
As soon as I got the alcohol from Paul I went through Emmett’s CDs and found one that I wanted. I put it on and put on the song that I wanted to listen to.
Don't think I can't feel there's something wrong
You've been the sweetest part of my life so long
I look in your eyes, there's a distant light
And you and I know there'll be a storm tonight
This is getting serious
Are you thinking 'bout you or us
Don't say what you're about to say
Look back before you leave my life
Be sure before you close that door
Before you roll those dice
Baby think twice
Baby think twice for the sake of our love, for the memory
For the fire and the faith that was you and me
Baby I know it ain't easy when your soul cries out for a higher ground
Why Emmett has this CD I don't know. It must be Rosalie's but I just laid back listening to the song remembering my angel singing it in the shower.
I then fell in to drunken sleep.
.
.
I woke up to someone pulling the curtains open and daylight came in the window but I didn’t have the energy to open my eyes let alone do anything else.
“Wake up, you asshole!”
I slowly opened my eyes and saw Emmett glaring at me. He started kicking at my feet trying to get me off the couch.
“Get up, you prick so that I can kick your ass,” he yelled.
“What is your problem? And can you get me something for head?”
“Fuck your head and you want to know what my problem is? You are my problem!”
“What the fuck are you on about, Em?”
“Answer me this then. What did you say to my sister?”
I looked at him and told him. “I let her go like you asked.”
“Yeah right, but I asked you to let her down easy not break her. She is in her room and won't talk to anyone. She is in a bad way, Dad, Rose, Jasper and Alice are very worried about her.”
I freaked. “I’d better go to her and explain everything,” I told him.
He looked at me and asked me, “What are you going to explain to her?”
“I'm going to tell her that I didn’t mean any of it and that I want to be with her and I will wait for her.”
He looked at me and said, “You will do no such thing. She will get over this and we will all be there for her. You already messed her up, so I just want you to stay away from her so that you won't hurt her anymore. As a matter of fact you best keep your distance from her while we are preparing the wedding. Bell’s is the maid of honor, and you’re the best man so it’s best if Rose and I do things separately. I think that is the best for everyone. You don't want to hurt my baby sister any more do you?”
I nodded no sadly. I knew that he was right. I will keep my distance for Bella's sake.
December
Everything is the same every day. I wake up, have a shower, get dressed, have breakfast, go to class, come home, study, listen to that Celine Dion CD and fall asleep dreaming of my angel. I didn’t go home for Christmas and Emmett didn’t invite me to Forks, not that I blamed him.
I went window shopping a week before Christmas to get my parents presents and send them to Chicago when I saw a Filigree heart pendant with key in the window of Menashe & Sons Jewelry store. I knew the second I saw it that it was perfect for my angel. It is a three-dimensional ornate heart featuring diamonds and seven different colored gemstones. Pendant with key in 18k white gold with round brilliant diamonds and colored gemstones on an 18" chain. Without a second thought I went in and bought it not caring about the price. I knew that someday, somehow I would give it to her.
January
Classes started again on January 6th. I got back into the same habit except this time I turned to the drink on the weekends. I think about my angel every second of every day. I miss her so much. I wonder if she thinks about me. I dream that on the day Emmett and Rose get married she runs to me and tells me that she didn’t believe the lies that I told her on thanksgiving and that she wants me and we can explore her dreams together. Dream on, I think to myself.
February
Ring, Ring
I turn to look at my alarm clock and see that it is only 8am and I have a killer hangover.
“Hello?” I answered grumpily.
“Well hello to you to Mr. Grump. Did I wake you?”
“Yes you did, mum. What’s wrong?”
“Can't a mother ring her son without there being something wrong?”
“Ok. You rang. Good morning to you too mum. Can I hang up now and go back to sleep?”
“Edward, I need a favor. Your dad's friend's daughter has just started in UW and doesn’t know anyone. Can you meet her and take her under your wing?”
“Aaaaaaahhhhhh mum,” I groaned.
“Please Edward,” she begged. “It would mean a lot to me.”
“Well, Em and I are having a house party tonight if you would like to ring her and give her the address and I will introduce her to a few people here.”
“I will do that, thanks Edward. That means a lot. Her name is Tanya Mitchell and she is 20 years old. I will let you get back to sleep.”
“Goodbye mum, love ya,” I yawned
I hung up the phone and went back to sleep. The next thing I knew it was 3pm. I saw that I had two missed calls on my cell phone and check the messages.
Message 1 – “Edward this is your mother, you must be busy. I wanted to let you know that I rang Tanya, gave her your number. Here is hers (202)5856935, love you son.”
Message 2 – “Hello, This is Tanya, I am ringing for Edward. I want to say thank you for the invite and to tell you that I'm looking forward to meeting you. See you later.”
I turned off my phone, lay back on my bed and groan. I really and truly didn’t want to meet this woman. Over the years my mother has tried to set me up with girls who she thought had class, but were only brainless bimbo’s. I really hate all those rich spoiled little debutantes. I have a feeling that this is another one.
I got up and threw on my sweats and went out to the kitchen to where Emmett and Rose where having a cup of coffee. I haven’t seen Rose in a while. She is still sour with me after everything that happened to Bella. What she doesn’t know is that I feel as if my life is not worth living without her.
“Hey guys, what are you both up to?”
“Well Eddie, myself and Rose were just going over wedding plans and she was just telling me news from home.”
Rose then spoke. “Emmett did you know that Bella is going to homecoming dance with the new guy in Forks. He really is nice. His name is Devon McCarthy. Bella is really excited, she deserves a decent boyfriend.”
She made sure that I heard every word. I couldn’t ignore that I was green with envy. That boy would be holding, touching and kissing my Bella.
Mine!! Mine!! Mine!! I chanted while I was hitting my fist on the table.
Rose looked at me with a smug look on her face as if she was saying, well, my job is done and Emmett looked at me as if I had gone mad.
“I'm going in for a shower and then I will come out and help you set everything up for tonight.” I then ran for the bathroom.
I went into the shower and put it on hot. I stripped and got in. My head was full of Bella and the dreams I had to make her mine. As the water fell over I took my hard cock into my hands and stroked it up and down. I closed my eyes thinking about my Bella's mouth on me while I stroked faster.
She sucked on my cock rolling her tongue to suck off my pre cum on the tip.
Oooooohhhhhhh Yeah, baby just like that. Faster love, you love my cock in your mouth don't you, my angel. She looked up at me under her eyelashes with my cock still in her mouth.
I'm cumming baby, don't stop.
Shit, yyeeeeeaaaaaahhh, I love you baby.
I came so hard and I opened my eyes and saw that I was in the shower and that I will never have Bella, the love of my existence.
I got out of the shower and threw on my 501 jeans and a button up shirt.
I went out and started to help Emmett and Rose set up for the party tonight. I made sure that there was plenty of Jack Daniels there because I need to get my mind off Bella and this asshole Devon.
Just then came a knock on the door and in came Eric Yorkie and Katie White. Pretty soon the entire apartment was full of our friends. I stood at the side drinking down double shots of Jack Daniels.
I was pretty drunk when Emmett came over and told me that there was someone here looking for me. I followed him to this girl, she was tall with long strawberry hair, ice blue eyes, and the figure of a Victoria’s secret model. She was beautiful except everything else about her was fake, but I needed the distraction and thought she will do. So I went over to her and put on the charm. She started talking, but I zoned her out.
After sitting with her for an hour and drinking down a bottle of JD I then brought her into my room. She looked at me with her slutty eyes and started kissing me deeply.
She palmed my hard cock and said, “I want you in my mouth.”
I took off my jeans and took my cock out. “You want it then you can have it so suck it bitch.”
She then took me into her mouth. I leaned back and my thoughts went to Bella and I came hard down the bitch's throat biting my lip to stop me from screaming Bella's name.
We then got under the blankets and everything went black.
.
.
I woke up to the sound of Aerosmith singing, ‘I don't want to miss a thing.’ But all I felt is head popping. I saw a shadow over by the stereo.
“Emmett, turn that shit off,” I moaned.
I heard a giggle that sounded like a hyena. “It’s not Emmett, lover boy.”
I opened my eyes and say the strawberry blonde from last night over there.
“Hi, look I'm sorry about last night if anything happened.”
She looked at me and said, “Well I think our families will be very happy that we got together and we hit it off so well. I must admit that you are more gorgeous then I ever thought and so lucky that we are together.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. This bitch was crazy.
“Look whatever your name is....I had a good time but I'm not interested in a relationship at the moment.” Well, not with you, I thought.
“Edward don't you remember, it’s me Tanya and last night you told me that you love me and did from the second you saw me.”
Shit!!! She is my parent's friend’s daughter and then I remembered thinking of Bella last night. I must have screamed that I loved her when I came. My parents are going to kill me!
“Tanya, my head is killing me, so how about you head off and I will ring you later. I have your phone number.”
She came over and smashed her lips against mine. “See you later lover,” she purred and walked out.
I got up and splashed some water on my face and went out to the sitting room. The apartment was indeed a mess. I went to the cupboard in the kitchen and took 2 Tylenol with a bottle of water and went back to bed and closed my eyes.
I was woken up by my phone ringing. I checked my alarm clock and saw that it was 2pm. I answered it,
“Hello?” I spoke into the phone. Next thing I heard was my mother squealing.
“Oh Edward, I am so happy. You and Tanya are together. She just got off the phone and told me. She said that it was love at first sight. I'm so excited.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Mom, I'm not together with Tanya. I'm not interested in her. I will be a friend if she needs one and that is it.”
“Oh Edward.” She sounded so disappointed. “I really hoped that she could be the one.”
I rolled my eyes and said, “Mom, I'm more then capable in finding my own girlfriend and she is not the one for me. Mom, I really have to go. I will ring soon. Love ya lots.”
“Bye son.” And hung up the phone
I then dialed the number that was on the peace of paper next to my alarm clock.
“Hello?” Said a voice that sounded like a hurt kitten.
“Hi, Tanya this is Edward.”
“Oh hi baby,” her voice perked up. “I was thinking about you. Our families are very happy for us by the way.”
I sighed and rolled my eyes. This is not going to go well, I thought.
“Yeah I know Tanya, I just had my mother on the phone. Listen, I think you misunderstood everything. I told you that I wasn’t interested in having a relationship. You see I'm trying to get over this girl that I love and until I do, I won't be any good to anyone.”
“But Eddie, you told me you love me,” she whined.
I put my hand through my hair and told myself to keep calm. “Tanya, I don't want to do this but when I said I love you, I was thinking about her.”
She stayed silent so I continued,
“We can be friends,” I said.
“Sure Eddie, I understand. I will talk to you later,” and hung up the phone.
I then fell in to a relaxing sleep.
.
.
Weeks turned into months and finally it was the week before Emmett and Rose's wedding. Tanya and I keep in touch and we are friends with benefits. I don't want a relationship with her but I'm a man with needs and she is good for a head and a roll in the hay. I know that she wants more but we can't all get what we want.
I thought about and missed Bella constantly and I know that I can't go on like this. So here I am waiting for Emmett.
Emmett walk's in the door and notices me sitting on the couch with my leg tapping on the ground which is a nervous habit. He came over to me.
“Ed, what's on your mind?”
“Em, I'm going say something to you and I don't want you to say anything till I'm finished.”
He nodded so I continued. “Em, I can't believe I'm saying this out loud especially to you, but I have to. I love Bella with all my heart. I want to be with her. I understand everything you said about her future and I want to tell you that I will be there for her. She can go to Julliard while I finish pre law here in UW. When she goes to explore the world I want to be with her. Please Em, let us have a chance at being together and in love. I can make her happy. She is my, everything.”
Emmett looked at me with a twinkle in his eye. “I was wondering how long it would take for you to man up and admit to what you feel. Ok Ed, I will give my blessing but there are a few conditions.
1. End your arrangement with Tanya.
2. Never mess her about because if you do I will kick your ass.
3. Don't stand in the way of her dreams and be supportive.
4. If she says no to you about anything then you accept it.”
“I have asked Tanya to be my date at the wedding but I will end it then.”
I then gave Emmett a man hug.
“I promise on all Four. Thanks Em.” I went into my bedroom and gave a very excited Yahoo! I finally have a chance to prove my love to my dream girl.
Suddenly the wedding seems so far away.
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